Recently I was going through my Facebook Timeline and I realised one thing about my peers (ages from 16-35) , is that we seem to be afraid of commitment and serious relationships. No matter how much we crave to find our soulmates, we always find it hard to be consistent in a relationship.
We all want to find our "soulmate" but once we are I'm relationships we tend to cheat, lie, feel insecure and be vulnerable to certain things that are part of a relationship. Our generation has taught themselves to love less and trust less that's why we find it so hard to commit or feel the need to commit to one partner because we have been hurt before, lied to before and so that makes us believe that we will never be able to commit with someone in our generation bracket.
So I decided to write an article about this so that I can break it down as to why we are afraid to commit to each other.
1. You feel vulnerable
Humans are a proud species, and we continuously strive for meaning and purpose for our own lives in such a capacity that it can be considered vain. They feel a benevolent being or force has created a single plan just for themselves as a reward for devotion, but that’s an argument for another time.
2. The pursuit of “something better”
If you’re anything like most people I’ve met, you’re very competitive. Competition is natural for us because we’re animals and it’s part of our nature to be in competition with each other.
3. Unrealistic expectations leads to commitment issues
We are creatures of habit, and we either crave what we can’t have or we create a checklist inspired by a combination of the media and the general public depicting the “perfect” relationship with the “perfect” person.
Have you ever been shopping and seen something you really liked, but you didn’t buy it because of a subpar reason you gave yourself? Have you done this only to find yourself back at that store hours, days, or weeks later, buying or missing out on that exact same thing?
5, Feeling “trapped”
How many times have you heard someone say, “I feel stuck” or “I’m suffocating”? Well, I’ve heard so many variations of that sentiment, that it all means nothing to me. People tend to be over-dramatic and in western society, complaining is unequivocally the most prominent method of conversing.
6. Letting the past predict the future creates commitment issues.
We all have a past and that shouldn't stop us from moving onto something better. We tend to let the mistakes of our past partners haunt us to the point that when we consider going into another relationship we feel as if the next partner will do what the last did or even worse. Stop thinking about what your last partner did and allow the next to show you how you should be treated but while at it learn to leave enough room for disappointment.
7. You’re “too busy”
Like many people, you probably think you have no time for any new commitments, and you’re just too busy to be bothered with taking time to genuinely connect with someone or some thing. You constantly tell yourself, “when I have more time,” you’ll do it — but deep down, you probably know that you will never have more time.
All these could be some of the reasons why we feel afraid to commit and there could be many more other reasons but we need to learn that sometimes our past relationships might play a big role in our next relationship because of the way it affected you but learn to mark that as a lesson learnt.
Relationships aren't meant to tear us down! If a relationship didn't work out it was never meant to be. If your relationship was toxic now you know that you shouldn't get into another because you've learnt from your last. Never wait for the right time because life is so unpredictable that you might have already met your soulmate but because of certain issues you lost out on your chance to be happy.