Some say that “time heals all wounds” but what if this wasn’t true ? This is what I have been researching and talking with a lot of people and an expert on trauma counseling and disaster response-trauma specialist Mathew Andrews
What has been proven is that the past emotional and physical pains do in fact affect one in the present life. Sometimes this is very obvious, and other times it is hidden . There are hidden influences from ones past that affect there way we think , feel and act. I am sure you have seen an example whereby a pattern of negative behavior whereby in that family when they are under the under the influence of alcohol they tend to be violent and abusive and this pattern gets passed on father to son.
When there is physical punishment and beatings this can in turn create a vicious cycle passed on from generation to generation. Not to mention the emotional pains on an adult or youth go through when there is domestic violence , divorce or forms of abuse to a single parent . Mathew has attended to disasters and run trauma counseling training and helped people one on one in over countries Disasters can be such thing as Earthquakes or Tsunamis or can be a virus outbreak such as we are facing right now with COVID-19.
There are also more common and neglected ‘disasters’ such as conflicts and violence at home, work or school, sexual abuse or cheating, alcohol and drug abuse, or even unemployment or the stress of being the ‘Bread-Winner’ all these lead to depression . Self-doubt, lack of self-esteem, negative thoughts and even as far as suicide .It is a real issue that as one we can tackle and address.
He went on to say that the first step is to acknowledge that these are real issues and not try and forget them as ‘part of life’ the message he stressed on about was ‘Something Can Be Done About It’. The first thing to understand is that it is common for someone to feel down, sad, self doubt, negative thoughts etc though it isn’t ‘normal’. Meaning that it doesn’t have to be that way . So wan be done about it? Well the first thing we can all do is to be there for our families and friends and listen more and not judge this alone makes a difference in the stress levels
There is a sole source of what keeps all the stress , past physical and emotional pains attached to us via our minds. The experiences don’t in fact fade away or disappear as one gets older . SO how can you keep your life experiences yet maintain or improve the vitality you have as a youth ? The answer lies in a discovery of your ‘reactive mind’ . Mr. L . Ron released this as Dianetics . He developed the Oxford Capacity Analysis in Johannesburg in 1960 which identifies the signs of trouble so that these can be handled on a personal basis to help one achieve their full potentials in life .
The ‘reactive mind’ is where all the stress and trauma is stored and used against your own will or acknowledge. Have you ever seen someone act very strange? Angry or sad for no reason in the present moment? Some behavior which cannot be controlled? Did you ever say or do something and then later wonder how it happened? All of this and more come from your ‘reactive mind’. So ‘time heals all wounds‘ isno entirely true or false. Emotional scars don't heal they are merely patched up, sub-merged and overcome. Our upbringing, our environment and what experiences we have led to shape who we are today and how we behave keeping this in mind we can create the best environment possible now for ourselves and our loved ones.